May 5, 2025
We’re often sold the idea that healing is a destination. You go to therapy, journal consistently, implement new habits — and eventually, you're “better.” Healed. Done.
But healing isn’t a checklist or a single turning point. If you’ve ever felt like you were making progress, only to hit what feels like an emotional setback, you’re not broken. You’re just human. Growth doesn’t move in straight lines — it moves in cycles, layers, and spirals. Much like re-reading a book, you may return to familiar themes, but with a deeper understanding each time.
If you’ve ever felt frustration or shame for not being “further along,” consider this: your emotions aren’t items you file away in a cabinet and forget. They’re living, dynamic signals — more like weather systems than archives. They shift, return, soften, and intensify, often without warning.
You might find yourself snapping at your partner, withdrawing from a friend, or spiraling into old insecurities, even after doing “the work.” That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s wired to do: protect you.
Much of our emotional reactivity is shaped by the body’s learning over time. The nervous system memorizes experiences — what’s dangerous, what’s familiar, what we had to do to feel safe. Sometimes that means a tone of voice, a facial expression, or a cluttered room triggers an outsized reaction. These are not moral failings. They’re survival strategies playing on repeat.
There’s a reason it feels nearly impossible to stay grounded when you're depleted.
Every one of us has a window of tolerance — the state where we feel regulated enough to cope, connect, and reflect. When we’re outside that window, either too activated (anxious, overwhelmed) or too shut down (numb, exhausted), it’s much harder to access curiosity, empathy, or problem-solving.
What can shrink that window?
These aren't excuses — they’re real physiological limits. Your brain’s job is to prioritize your safety, and when your basic needs aren’t met, it moves into survival mode. It’s not that you’re “too sensitive” or “not trying hard enough.” It’s that your biology is leading the way.
When an old feeling resurfaces, it doesn’t mean you’ve gone backward. It means you’re revisiting something from a new vantage point. The fear, grief, or anger may look familiar — but you aren’t the same version of yourself who first experienced it.
Now you may be:
These are quiet shifts. But they’re powerful signs of growth.
You can’t mindset your way through burnout. You can’t positive-think your way out of survival mode. You’re not weak for needing food, rest, reassurance, or boundaries in order to access your resilience.
This isn’t failure — it’s what it means to be alive in a human body. Healing isn’t linear. It’s not polished or permanent. It’s slow, cyclical, and deeply impacted by your environment, your relationships, and your nervous system.
At VOX Mental Health, we believe that true growth happens when we stop performing healing and start experiencing it — gently, imperfectly, and with support. If you’re tired of trying to “get it right,” therapy can be a space where you don’t have to. Just showing up is enough.
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